Wednesday, October 28, 2009

Gondi and the Chicken Suit - A Tale of Evil and Retribution

Once Upon a Time, shortly after the end of the reign of the Wicked Felina, Gondi came into our lives. He was just a kitten, and Little Fatso took him under her wing and nurtured him, teaching him everything he needed to know, on a need-to-know basis.

But, soon, Gondi became a vain and arrogant bully, and he turned on Little Fatso, terrorizing her every chance he got. He would steal the spots she had warmed up for himself, he would jump on her when she was napping, and he wouldn't let her at the food dish until he had finished eating.

He grew into a fat and useless little tyrant, and led a life of hedonistic self-indulgence.

Fatso grew old and withered away. Then, along came Syd, who found that he was expected to do all the cat work in the entire household. He had to move all the rubber bands, lick all the cardboard boxes, and hide things from the desk all by himself, with no help from Gondi.

Then, one day, there was a Halloween Sale at Target. Joyce found a cute little chicken hat. How humiliating for a cat to have to wear a chicken hat. Syd did not care for it. "What shall we do? Syd will not wear the chicken hat!" Then it occurred to us -- why not try it on that useless cat that just lies around all day, anyway? What a great idea! And so, Gondi got to wear the chicken hat for the holiday picture.That night, a terrible thing happened to the paper roll in the bathroom.

Who has fashioned our lovely white tissue roll into a useless shredded piano roll? The cats were both certain that they had not seen who committed this heinous act.

Now, where is that shipping tape?

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Leslie Hanna said...

HA! Kids, what are ya gonna do?

Lydia said...

Ohhh - poor little Fatso. I love that kitty and that one picture is so sad. Gondi, u bad kitteh.

However, I have to say, Little Fatso is probably smirking from cat heaven at the chicken hat. I would be.

I hope that Syd gets some sort of extra cat pay for doing all the cat work.

One of my fave posts!!!

WV: vises. As in - one of Gondi's many vises is lounging around with his belly hanging out.

gary guetzlaff said...

If one looks closely at the pictures in the latest Excelsior post, one can clearly see that the eyes of the cat, named Gondi, glow red in all photos taken after the hated chicken hat has been lovingly placed on its head.

One might ask, "Does this "red eyed" phenomenon in lower creatures have a connection with the heinous devastation in the bathroom? Or is it simple coincidence?"

reposted without permission, from an email from my buddy Norm: (-g)