Wednesday, July 4, 2012

Notes from the Wasteland

It happened suddenly, not gradually.  Within a span of two weeks my entire work-life experience was demolished. My employer for the last thirty years announced that the business was ending operations, the fixtures and assets would be sold, and that was that!   Outside, a WalMart had purchased the entire block, with the exception of our building and the gas station on the corner.  Here's how demolition sounds from inside the building:  Bang! Boom! Shake! Shudder!  For comparison, here is how excavation sounds:   Bang! Boom! Shake! Shudder!  And construction:   Bang! Boom! Shake! Shudder!   DO YOU KNOW, there are machines designed to do nothing but shake the ground?  Just to make the dirt settle to meet code! It was like being aboard the Enterprise when the shields take a hit. Get me outa here, Scotty! Those dinosaur-size machines even tore up the road in front of our place.  No sidewalk!  How am I going to get to the gas station for a Bratwurst?

And there were the Hardhat Guys pacing around continuously all with uniform yellow vests and hard hats.  They all walk at the same relentless marching speed.  I half-expected to hear them chanting "Oh WEE Oh! Wee OHH, Whoa."
And so, all the things near and dear to us, my beat up old 1970s Modular Yellow Desk where I spent thirty years rendering exemplary and astonishing service in the Sales Office. For Sale!
And the old clock that ground our lives to bits:
Industrial photography can be fun:
And then there was the web site I created, and we all worked on it to list everything that we could possibly sell.  Check it out:
Using Microsoft Excel, I found a way to convert the parts department database directly to HTML tables that could be listed on web pages by just cutting and pasting.
And I invented an Excel table that wrote batch files that created HTML pages en masse:
Altogether, because this is "old-school" HTML structure, we created over 1100 HTML files on the site.  It's a Low-Tech masterpiece.  Pure raw power, and no frills. Altogether, according to the backup records, there are now 4200 files created for the liquidation project.

And then there was the marketing.  We're selling ourselves by postcard, by drive-by banners, Craig's List, Ebay.

I was inspired by the way one Ebay user advertised his pallet racks: 
... but I couldn't get Jane (not her name) to pose for the photo.  A few times, we almost sold her accidentally.  "Jane, get out of that pickup truck this instant.  You have to stay and work on the inventory!"
And so, what's next?  We're almost done listing and sifting, and are steadily selling everything, but soon the time will come....
One good thing - last time I checked, the future was still all there!
Happy Independence Day!
Thanks for listening and contributing. I'd love to hear from you.

1 comment:

Leslie Hanna said...

GARYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY! I'm glad to see you on the interwebz! Have you decided to stay retired and be a slum lord? It could work for you! I have a shed I need cleaned out. I'll even feed you. :D

Don't be such a stranger, and please keep us posted!

Miss you! xo