Friday, October 28, 2011

Livin La Vida del Cerdo

One picture could have replaced this post.  As we all know, nothing says "Best Wishes to the New Piggly Wiggly on the south side of Milwaukee" like a 35-foot high pig.   But, I went to photograph the 8th wonder of the civilized world, and, you can see for yourself, nothing was there. Yes, I saw a 35-foot pig in front of the store a few days before when I didn't have the camera along - he was taller than the building - really, I saw this with my own eyes!  So, without the 35-foot porcine edifice, I'll attempt to recount how the Pig has changed my life for the better.

My journey to  La Vie de porc began when I was just a child.  Kroger's was Watertown's favorite grocery store, and schoolmate Karen's father was the manager.  But, in those turbulent '60s, Kroger, Inc. announced that it was pulling out of Wisconsin.  What were we going to do, now?  That would leave only A&P and National Tea and countless corner groceries.  Well, Karen's dad wasn't about to let us down, and soon there was a new Pig in town in the old Kroger's building.

Свинья Жизни - what more can I say?

Piggly Wiggly continues to serve the Watertown area, in a newer more corporate-friendly location on the edge of town.  Their prices were fair, their produce and meat were the finest, and once I even won $100 worth of groceries playing Pig Bingo. That was long ago, in the early 1980s.

So, it was with great delight that I learned that die Schweineleben was coming to Milwaukee.  At last we would have a friendly low-priced alternative to Pick n Shove.  Ever since that Monopoly incident, where Chairman Bob got ahold of my grocery list, and specially marked up everything I used, so I could get extra Monopoly tokens and win $10 at the end after losing hundreds in markups.  And that $4.70 quart of Miracle Whip still bothers me every time I go to the refrigerator.  It's $3.50, Bobbo, at the most - $2.50 on sale! $4.70 I had to pay - and it didn't even come down when the Monopoly game was over!

The Pig brought to town his own affordable brand of food, as well as Food Club and Valu Time brand.  There are Pig chips, Pig butter, Pig Peanut Butter, Pig Cheese, Frozen Pig Peas, Pig Yogurt - virtually everything a person could possibly eat is available in the Pig brand - you'll have to sort out the high-fructose for yourself - it's not for everybody. 
As if that weren't enough - thanks to the innovations of technology, vita porcus brings you:
Each week at checkout time, you present your Pig Card, and receive a detailed statement of your Pig Point Account - Talk about a sense of wealth!
Well, as the nozzle in the picture would indicate, these Pig Points will buy you gallons and gallons of gasoline, no doubt superior to the gasoline others motorvate with.  So, now the Pig is even driving us to the grocery store.  Truly, readers, it doesn't get any better than this.

Heigh Ho - The Pig Life!

Thanks for listening and contributing. I'd love to hear from you.


Leslie Hanna said...

OMG, LMAO! What a great post! We don't have the pig here in the DC area, but our local chain has gas points. I just need to figure out how to redeem them.

Now the birning question in my mind is this: is there Pig-brand bacon? Because that would just be wrong.

wv: cuslad

Dad told his son, "It's wrong to cuslad."

Scrapcollectr said...

Ooooh... This brings back fond memories of the corner grocery store in the Texas town I grew up in. And wasn't it made famous by Miss Daisy in "Driving Miss Daisy"? Welcome back, Mr. Wiggly....