Wednesday, October 19, 2011

Onions in a Box

Pig Tales - Adventures in the Piggly Wiggly
As I came out of the canned vegetable aisle, a lady was saying to two kids in clerks uniforms:  
"No, it's called French Onions"
Dum: "We have french fries in the frozen food section"
She: "No, it's not frozen, it's kind of dried  And it comes in a box, kind of a round box that looks like a can. It's called French Fried Onions"
Dummer "A baawx?"
She: "Not exactly, it's more like a cardboard can.  It's round."
Two simultaneous stupid looks. One of the kids was concentrating so hard, he started drooling.
At that point, I reached into my cart, and held up my own can of  French's Onions high in the air, so the lady could see them.  Give me your tired, your poor, the wretched refuse...  
"THAT's THE ONES!  WHERE DID YOU GET THOSE!!!!" the lady pointed to me. 
The two clerks gaped stupidly. You begin to ask yourself, why are all these vegetables standing around in the meat section? 
"They're over there by the canned corn, on the top shelf"  I pointed.
Six eyes followed the finger..... voila!
I disappeared down the Coffee aisle.

Well, I know what that old lady was up to.  It's the Green Bean Casserole.  And I'm about to divulge her most treasured secret recipe:  

Green Bean Casserole
Drain a can of green beans, throw in casserole dish, 
Add a can of Campbell's Cream of Mushroom Soup, 
Add a can of sliced mushrooms.  
Stir it up. 
Dump the can of Durkee's French Fried Onions on top.  
Bake.until warm and congealed.
Instant Dish to Pass.    
And here's Esther's secret:  Sprinkle a little Lawry's Seasoned Salt on top for that extra savor.

"Now, FRESS!"* as my Grandpa used to say.

* german:  "Feed"

Thanks for listening and contributing. I'd love to hear from you.


leslie (crookedstamper) said...

KIDS! What are ya gonna do?! Geez.

WV: retri
No matter how many times you retri, they just won't get it.

Lydia said...

WAAAIIIIT - you still have Piggly Wiggly??????

WV; I've got the flusnies now that I know some people still have the PW and we don't!!