Monday, September 5, 2011

morning paper

AH, Labor day!

But, this morning as I sat back with a cup of instant coffee (two packets for the comatose), my wife turned on the TV.  The relentless rotation of Daytime TV greeted us.  I'm usually at my day job at this time on a Monday morning, so, it's always a revelation - so much different from night time programming.  And, rather than run downstairs, I was lured by promises of a performance by Lady Gaga.  She was on the morning show called The View.  Barbara Walters, Whoopi Goldberg, and some other ladies all sit on one side of a table (something like the Last Supper) except they all talk at once. Lady Gaga even joined them for the cackling part, with promises of a performance later in the show. You can't really make out what they're talking about, because everybody's talking at once.

At the end of the show, the promised performance by Lady Gaga was spectacular. She is a devoted hard-working performer, and doesn't try to conform to the norm of affectation one sees from other performers on her level of "diva-tude".  Without any theatrics or outlandish costuming, Lady Gaga is still an ultra-talented performer.

In the mean-time, I sat through a disturbing commercial reenactment of a domestic crisis.  A man emerges from a room, presumably the loo.   He hollers "Honey, we're out of paper, could you toss me a roll?"  A roll of paper clips him in the side of the head, and scrapes off most of his hair.  Presumably, the paper was not soft enough for his tender nethers.  So, he hollers down the hall again, half his hair missing "Honey, we're out of paper, could you toss me a roll?"  And, another roll nails him, the roll hits him in the chest, and explodes into a fuzzy explosion of lint, all over his clothes.   Too soft.  Then, of course, he goes through it all again, still no business taken care of.  And, of course, now we're all ready for Brand X.  This time, Honey comes to her senses, and hollers back at him - "GET YOUR OWN DAMN PAPER, AND CLEAN UP THAT MESS!"  Just kidding.  What woman would put up with that?

Thanks for listening and contributing. I'd love to hear from you.

1 comment:

Leslie Hanna said...

I don't miss TV, especially daytime TV. The View used to make me stabby. Oprah made me want to jump off a bridge. And soap operas just made me happy that my life could NEVER be that screwed up. Oh, and the commercials. ACK! No TV is good. :) Glad you survived the experience.